Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize