I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
