he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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