Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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