I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
