im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
