My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
