just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
