it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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