I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
