I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
