DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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