Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
