I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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