You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
well you can't waste a boner
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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