sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
