definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
