Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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