On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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