1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
