Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
A+ Viking dick
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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