So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
sex in a hospital.. check
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
