Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
