what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
