this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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