Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
