thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
