i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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