so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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