I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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