big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
