we have officially lost it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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