I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
