Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
