I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
