He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My dick has a subreddit
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
