Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
