I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
