I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
