I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
