Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
