I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
