I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
