Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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