I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
