Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
