I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just had sex on a roof
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
