I cannot find my penis.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Come on in and take your pants off
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