You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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