I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize