Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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