There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
