His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".