It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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