Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
