I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
