We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
