ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
