none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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