I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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