what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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